Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Amazed

It always amazes me the things that people will say with the choice of anonymity on the internet. I was just doing a search on a young man I know who was recently killed in an automobile accident. On someone's live journal the obituary was posted. In the article it says that the 18 year old was passing a semi-truck when it lost control, clipped the truck and went off the highway rolling several times. The 18 year old was returning to BYU after a short weekend visit in Washington with his brother who is in the military and was being deployed shortly.

What I read in the comments of this livejournal was this:

Why did the parents let him go be independent at 18? At 18, you're still a baby! With not enough experience to drive and you hear about people like this. It's kind of irresponsible of the parents for letting him drive alone on a road trip like that from a state 3000 + miles away. (It's 800 miles - maybe this person needs a road map as well)
He took on too much for a teenager. I hope the parents learned a lesson about not letting their other kids drive irratically or alone.


It is painful that his own parents could do a search just as I did and would be subjected to this. Let me tell you the real story. Jaron was in fact 18. He was at BYU and found out that his parents were going to Washington to visit his brother for the short time he was there. His mother told him NOT to make the trip. He called her after well on his way and she asked if he was alone. He said no "that the Holy Ghost was with him". She was still not happy with him coming alone but since he was already coming that was that. They enjoyed a nice weekend together and on Monday morning he took his brother to the airport and began the drive back to Provo. On his cell phone an hour before the accident he told his mother he was going to drive for just a bit longer and then pull over and take a nap - he had been up late with his brother the night before. At 10am he fell asleep at the wheel. The truck driver saw his nodding head and followed the protocol that they have, slowed his vehicle as to slow other cars around him and create minimum accident. Jaron swerved in to the semi and then off of the road.

I just don't understand how people who know nothing about the details could gain satisfaction at blaming the boys parents. How quick we all can be to make judgements when we know little of the details.

13 comments:

Head Gaggler said...

That's just awful. I feel for those parents. I agree though, it is totally uncalled for to make any comments regarding this incident that was clear they knew nothing about.

Amazed said...

I've wondered this as well. What a heartbreaking story. Anonymous postings really opens the door to unfair, unkind judgments. And just because you think it doesn't mean you say it. Cowardly besides unkind.

And hope you are feeling better. I am keeping my distance as I write this because I just have a feeling germs are in the air....

what's the weather like there> Rainy? Gorgeous Fall? Post some more pictures when you're up and about. And I really am sorry about your friend. I can't imagine losing one of my kiddos at any age.

ciara said...

anonymous postings like that just show you how chickenshit and ignorant people are. it is bad enough these parents lost there child...they don't need that crap. that person had NO right to comment on something they knew nothing about.

Moving Mama said...

On a subject like this, I agree, speculative comments and placing blame don't help the situation or the family. Did the posting invite comments - they should have just said "Thoughts to the family" or something of the like for comments... The owner of the site should go in and delete these commentaries. I recently read a discussion on people who have the same breast cancer gene that I have, and I felt awful on the opinions people gave. I mean - they don't have to live with my situation. Just like the people who commented on this young man don't need to live with his loss.

And to the person who said this young man was a "baby", they should meet some of the soldiers (like this young man's brother) that travel thousands of miles away from their homes to fight...isn't 18 still a legal adult?

PS/Hope you are feeling better :)

Christine said...

How awful! I was listening to the radio today about people making judgements and labeling others, especially when the person making the comments knows nothing of the whole story. The whole commenting anon is very cowardly. At 18, they are legally adults. The mother did what I would have done, and any mother would have done the same. It is a tragic accident, but the parents shouldn't be held liable.
There are just some very thoughtless people out there.

Hope you are feeling better today!

ewe are here said...

First of all, I feel for his family. What a terrible, terrible tragedy.

Second of all, I'd be willing to bet the 'critics' are all middle or upper middle class members, not realizing that the reality for many is that many HAVE to leave home and be adults at 18. 18 is the age of adulthood under the law; there's not a whole lot a parent can do to prevent their 'child' from doing anything.

AT least the truck driver sounded as if was on the ball ... possibly prevented others from getting seriously hurt as well.

MarmiteToasty said...

How very sad for everyone involved..... I to hope the parents never get to read such a judgemental comment.....

x

Robin said...

What a tragic loss. My thoughts go out to his family.

And shame on that anonymous poster.

ciara said...

don't forget to pick up the 'you make me smile' award.

Jen said...

How tragic. My heart goes out to his family.

Maribeth said...

When my daughter died many people thought they knew and blamed me for her death. It hurt me terribly and I could not be consoled.
23 years later I realize how stupid they were, and how very little they actually knew.
My condolences to you and to the family of your friend.

Anna Maria Junus said...

18 is an adult. There is nothing a parent can do to force a child. Good grief. Obviously someone who doesn't have a clue wrote that post.

How sad that this happened. My condolences to the family.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh that was heartbreaking to read.