Trust

I was on my way out to lunch today and to get to the little taco shop I was craving I have to cross two sets of rail road tracks. Normally I don't think anything of it. Three things are usually occuring - traffic is flowing normally, traffic is stopped for a train, or traffic is stopped for a bus. There are two school on the road that crosses the tracks so most often there is a bus there. Today we were stopped for another reason, a truck. A Union Pacific railway worker was maneuvering his truck on to the train tracks to do whatever it is that they do riding on the rails. He was alone and had to hop in and out of his truck a few times to get the wheels on the tracks and get moving. As he drove off down the railroad tracks I had to think that he was REALLY putting his life in the hands of his coworkers. I wonder if he even thinks about it anymore - hoping that somewhere down the line everybody has hit the right switches and a train isn't going to come at him anytime soon.

How many things do we do each day that are completely putting our trust in other people. Heck, even when I drive you should all trust that I'm going to remember what side of the street I'm on, and yes I did have to think about that today after stopping to chat with a neighbor. I have to trust that my children will be taken care of at school, that other people will watch where they are driving, I even have to trust that my house was built correctly and that when I light the stove it isn't going to blow the house up.

I don't really have a huge point to this blog today - just a rambling mostly. And to be thankful I don't drive a truck on train tracks and have to worry about when the next train is coming.

Randomness

I tagged myself to share 8 random facts or habits after reading Baby Tea Leaves blog this morning. I was hoping she would have something to start my brain blogging this morning - and she did.

1. I set my alarm clock each night and then turn it off and back on just to make sure. I've also been known to get OUT of bed to then check it a 3rd time.

2. I will use the same cup for drinking water several days in a row. When I use a glass I use it less than a plastic cup - the fingerprints get to me. I'm currently back to giant iced tea cups of water.

3. I have to get up and showered and dressed before I take my kids to school. I don't even wear make-up (aside from mascara) so that's not the issue - I just don't like leaving the house and then having to come back and get ready later.

4. I like to dance. If we go to a party with dancing I dance. My husband doesn't dance so he sits and socializes with his friends - I dance.

5. This one is related to the dancing. I have been known to catch a ride home with someone else when attending a party because my husband has gone home- I am a closer. Yep - I'm well known for being part of the last group to leave. In England I was most often the designated driver as well - so I would stay and then drive everyone home. I bet they miss me!

6. I have superstitions when I bowl. I used to bowl in the morning so if I had toast with grape jelly and bowled a good game I would eat that in hopes to relive the game. Lately I bowl at night so it's fries and a coke.

7. I can not quit drinking coke. Seriously! I don't have it at home but if I am out I will order one, or two, or three. I can NOT drink diet.

8. I collect Thimbles. It makes me feel like an old lady but they are SO easy to pick up and carry - they don't take up any room in your suitcase - and they are usually inexpensive. I also don't HAVE to go to the place to collect the thimble - I take donations from the places my friends/family have been. Hint, hint!

OK so here are the rules.
Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog post, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their name - (and here's where I personally break the rules. I tag everyone.)
Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog.

Secrets

I've been thinking lately about secrets and who we tell them to. Do you have a friend that knows all the dirty details of your life? Do you share every thought with your spouse? Is the person you tell your secrets to in fact a secret? Some of us, I'm sure, tell our secrets in our blogs. I can look back through the different stages of my life, crap I'm having stages of life now, that's not cool. Anyway - I can look back and remember who I told my secrets too. In high school it was pretty easy, you find your BFF and that's it. Easy enough to divulge what boy you like and how many times he kissed you on Friday night or whatever the latest event in your life was.

I can count on one hand the friends in my adult life that I have shared a significant secret with. I think the main reason for this is because you have to be pretty sure that the person you are talking to understands you. Someone that sees MORE than what you are saying. Turning it a little bit I remember when I got married and my Mom gave me the advice to never say anything bad about my husband because for some people that would be the one thing they remember or opinion they have. I know how much this is true because I've seen people in their blogs go on and on about how horrible their spouse has been and then they are shocked when people say "oh he is a jerk". The back pedaling starts and they realize that they were just annoyed and that in fact their spouse isn't a jerk - but too late - opinion formed. If you think you're spouse is being an idiot it works out much better if you share this with someone who knows that in fact YOU are the idiot. I've had friends in real life as well who have people convinced that they live a horrible life just because that is ALL they ever talk about.

I also think some people share things too easily. There are times my own husband says something to someone and I think to myself that I would NEVER have said that. I think I live my life a little more privately than he does. He has no trouble sharing health issues, financial problems, issues with our children and who knows what. I could probably be bleeding to death before I would mention I was a little worried. I have had to specifically TELL him not to mention X to so and so because I know he will. Perhaps this is because I worry about how those issues will reflect on me and apparently he doesn't care. hahah I don't know.

I do think it is good to have someone who understands you. Someone who knows exactly what it takes to make you laugh and someone who knows just how to put you back in your place when you need to be. Someone that you just talk to and you don't realize you are sharing the most private parts of your life because you are so comfortable with them that it doesn't occur to you to NOT share your life with them.

Of course if you don't have anyone to hear your secrets you could always go here PostSecret but I would hope that you have someone to listen to you and someone you listen to in return. I am also not going to be held responsible for any of those secrets people post because most of them are those ones that I would NOT share. Even annonymously. (They are not always rated PG so view at your own risk - I'm not a regular visitor of the site either - my own disclaimer.)

Tag from Amazed.

I saw this over at Amazed and thought I would participate. We need to keep her entertained while she's at home - so here it is. ( I have no idea why my pictures showed up as they did - but I'm sure you can figure them out.)

A Place I Would Like to Visit.



Your Age




Your Indulgences





Your Name


Or

Get It?


What You're Doing Right Now -
Well, obviously I'm blogging but the tv is on and the kids are watching SpongeBob so I guess I am too.


Your Favorite Color -
I don't actually have a favorite color - it depends on my mood. I do love tulips and this fits since they come in all colors.

My life would be better if I had more ________.

I've been participating in the Hot for the Holidays weight loss challenge over at Baby Tea Leaves each week. She usually has a prompt for blogging but I've been so busy lately that I have only done one of them. As you can see by blogging evidence I'm not on here much anymore - I'll work on that. However, I saw her prompt for today and it got me thinking.

How would my life be better? Pretty much my life as it is today is the way it will be. It would be better if I was a bit more outgoing. I take a long time to settle in and to make friends. Actually it's finding people that I am comfortable with that is the problem. I see myself so outside the circle that they are. I am not THAT girl so why would I want to hang out with them? Or better yet, why would they want to hang out with me? I am also not the one to call and ask if you want to go do something - I have this rejection phobia so I will just sit here. Don't get me wrong I do have some close friends. I have friends that I could drop by unannounced and spend the whole day and we would have a blast - but it's the new friends I have trouble with.

I was also thinking that my life would probably be better if I had made decisions based on what I wanted. I tend to be a pleaser and I do what is expected of me. I do what other people WANTED me to do - so as not to disappoint them and their expectations of me. When you live your life the way it was "expected" you miss out on a lot. When your head talks above your heart it leaves you with a wonder that can carry on for far too many years. I can look back and see how many amazing things I have in my life and things that I would never give up but I also have to wonder if I had lived the life I wanted to - how much different that would have been. How much different would I be?