Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Birthday Party

My children go to private school here in England. It is a perk that we receive as part of our contract living overseas. This perk has its downside as I am a public school mom in a private school mum's world.

This past weekend Jordan was invited to a birthday party. This is where four events happen that make me realize once and again how out of my element I am. Months ago I stopped trying to dress to impress at all and have given in to my Old Navy jeans and t's. I even busted out the white keds - knowing full well that a pair of shoes can honestly identify ones culture. But I don't care. I'm an American and I'm wearing my white tennies. I'm not even going to call them trainers - they are tennis shoes. I don't play tennis in them but that's neither here nor there. So, I quit making sure I have on my best jeans and t-shirts and just go with who I am. However, I still have to socialize with these people with um, interesting results.

Back to the party. We receive the invitation and I see it says to RSVP to Emma. The next day at school I RSVP to Emma while we are getting the children out of the car in the school carpark. A few days later Emma asks if I did in fact RSVP as she has a memory like a "sieve". I remind her that yes I did and then ask if the party is at her home. Her reply "well yes it is at Rebecca's home, her mother is brave having that many children in her home if you ask me." #1: Thinking the child's nanny is her mother.

Let's fast forward to the party. I pull in to the driveway to pick up my child and Rebecca's dad tells me that I need to pull forward a bit more or the gate to their drive will automatically close on my vehicle. I move the car forward a bit. As I am chatting with a few of the other moms Rebecca's mother comes frantically apologizing over and over that their gate did in fact close on my car. She is so worried that it may have caused damage. I keep telling her it isn't an issue, that hopefully her gate is not damaged. I mean seriously I drive a Toyota Picnic. In a carpark of Aston Martins and Range Rover SUV's should we even bat an eyelash at a car with the name "picnic" in it? If the gate did scratch my car I certainly can't spot it. #2: Not moving my car forward enough to avoid this embarrassment.

I return to the back "garden" and the adults are being asked if they would like anything to drink. The list is given out as if we were at a winery. Seeing as I don't drink I just said that I was fine and that I wouldn't need a drink. Of course if they had offered an ice cold can of coke I would have been right there. The chat turns to local clubs and the nanny talks about a club she had been to the night before. Here I go opening my mouth. The one thing I have to contribute? Are you ready? "Did you happen to use the women's toilet while you were there? Because seriously there are all of these stalls that are regular toilet stalls but then the one at the end if you open the door there are 2 toilets in it. TWO toilets in ONE stall - really is anybody that good of friends?" This wasn't received all that well by my present company. Seriously did I think it would? #3: discussing the toilets at the local club.

And then comes the grand finale. Jordan is yelling at me from the treehouse. I go over to her and there she is soaking wet. Did one of the cups spill from the lunch they were eating? Um, no. She wet her pants. Was I smart enough to tip one of them over in disguise of her accident? No, but in hindsight I wish I would have. There I am dragging my wet 5yo out of a tree house. Her friends watch as we walk by and comment "why is Jordan wet?" She is mortified, I am as well. I go over to thank our hosts for the birthday party and when Jordan starts crying the mother says she can stay longer. I then have to tell her that she had an accident and that she can't stay longer. She apologizes once again for not having her go to the bathroom during the party and then runs in for a pair of her daughters underwear. #4 Having the child that pees at the party.

So, I change Jordan in to her borrowed panties. Hold our heads high and march on out the front door. Hmmm, wonder if she'll be invited back for a playdate anytime soon?


ciara said...

came here by way of marmitetoasty's site and i have to tell you that this story gave me my first chuckle of the day. :) i do believe that this scenario would play out basically the same if you were dealing with private school 'society' moms and whoever back here in the states. all i can say is, i love that you didn't conform :)

Em said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! That led me to your blog. Looks like you are even newer at this than me...so welcome!

What an interesting party. Seems like quite the fancy get-together. I'm sure you look awesome on your jeans and tennis shoes...and who cares what they think! Keep holding your head high!

MarmiteToasty said...

I would of gone a right treat with me orange and red flowered docs then LMFAO.........


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