Friday, April 25, 2008

Friends

When I was in highschool my best friends name was Stefani. Stef was a year younger than me and actually one of those girls I couldn't stand when I first met her. Perfect hair, perfect clothes, just perfect. We were great friends in highschool. We had all sorts of great adventures together. We went to Mexico in matching shirts we had made - perhaps the only time that I have been called Mrs. Pork and laughed about it. We puffy painted shirts - there were three of us. Lori had cows on hers, Stef had bears and I had pigs. Okay, we were dorks but that's neither here nor there. As we were walking through the market someone was trying to make a deal with us - I'm sure some item we thought we had to have. He called to each of us - come back Mrs. Cow, Mrs. Bear - MRS. PORK! My Senior year we went to San Francisco togther. Our highschool basketball team made state and we convinced our parents to let us go. The best part was we had a place to stay - Stef had an uncle who lived in Oakland and he would let us stay with him. Her Uncle is a priest so we stayed in the rectory. All the other priests must have had plans that weekend because we had the whole house to ourselves. When I went to college Stef drove with me in my little red datsun pick up. We sang Billy Joel and James Taylor at the top of our lungs driving on the freeway. When I got married Stef was my bridesmaid. When she got married, the 2nd time, I was one of her bridesmaids. When she had her first child, a little girl, I was having my 3rd, also a girl. We have always kept in touch. That is until now. I should clarify that I have kept in touch - she is not. I know that she has gotten divorced recently but that is all I know. I had another friend email her and she did write back to him - but still no response to me. We weren't daily friends, we rarely talked on the phone, but we kept in touch. I only have a few friends that I have had forever that I keep in touch with and I figured she would be one that would be there forever. Now I have to figure out why she isn't returning my emails. Do I send an email asking what is going on? Do I just ignore that she doesn't respond and continue sending updated on what's going on with us and asking what's new with her? Do I put the memories in a box with other friends who have come and gone?

8 comments:

Cricket said...

It may be possible that she doesn't want contact, but I doubt it. Just don't give up on her. Sometimes people get into a funk where they cut themselves off. Like the whole Muffy thing. If it weren't for my friends dragging my bum out of bed and calling and taking me places and letting me know that they were there for me I don't think I would have come out of it. Maybe she just needs some time. Maybe she thought she responded and didn't. I have a friend that is horrid about email. She never knows what to say or ask and feels she will write one once she has the time to put into a long email. It might just be that she doesn't know where to start with letting you know what has happened and she has been over it so many times that she is sick of it. Don't give up on her. You never know. Hey by the way Marnie is getting married in June in the Temple. Totally happy girl. You never know what is going to happen.

Mom not Mum said...

Just what I needed to hear!!

Christine said...

It's great to see you are back! Your new house in Tucson looks lovely!
Leave it to Jordan to come up with a response like that! LOL!

Eck! You'll be moving back in August! Hopefully it will be a cool monsoon day!

I wouldn't give up on your friend. She may be going through a rough and busy time in her life.

Amazed said...

Never give up. My BF from 3rd grade through HS went through some hard, scary times. I kept trying through the years, even when she didn't respond. About 7 years ago, we finally got together and have a good friendship. It isn't close like it used to be....we are both different people, but still, no one knows us like our old best friend. Don't let go. She's probably just in a hard place. My friend was actually doing stuff she knew I wouldn't approve of....so rather than tell me, she just dropped out. Old friendship is worth holding on to.....Do you know for sure her email is right? I changed mine and letters sent to my old address never went back to the sender as closed address. Maybe your notes to her are in a dormant mailbox. Oh, I guess you said someone else heard from her. Maybe she was just wishing you had invited her to England. All your other blog stalkers were hoping for an invitation!!! (that would be me!)

Christie O. said...

i have recently had the same thing. one of my best friends forever and ever hasn't even met Poops yet. hasn't returned my calls or e-mails, so i sat down and wrote her an e-mail basically telling her how much she means to me and how hurt i was that she hasn't been a part of my life at all recently, even if just by phone. she called and apologized and it's all cleared up. sometimes people just suck at the phone and e-mail and need to know it hurts you. even if that's not it, maybe it's just good for you to get it out in the open so you can have peace of mind.

Nicole said...

I'm going through the exact same thing right now. One of my good friends that I've known since I was a child won't return my calls. I was just talking to another friend the other day and she had just gotten off of the phone with this friend of mine. I was like, uh, hello? Did she not get my message. I honestly don't know what to do either. It really hurt my feelings. At the same time it's kind of pissing me off that she's just putting me off like that. Oh well, I'll give her a week or two and try again. If I don't hear back from her, then I guess it's her loss.

alisonwonderland said...

as someone who is pretty bad about keeping in touch with old friends, i'd say to not give up on her. if it were me, i'd enjoy hearing from you, even if i wasn't responding!

Anna Maria Junus said...

You're so lucky to have had that type of friendship. I didn't.

So I say hang on to it. Keep checking up on her. You never know when you might be needed and you want her to be able to contact her.